17 - [voice] Return to the land of the living

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[Zuko turns his communicator on, but there is only silence for a long time. He doesn't really know what to say. After a while, he speaks, voice quiet and flat.]


I'm... back.


[.......]



I apologize for having worried you.


[And that's it. The communicator shuts off with a soft click.]

Comments

[commentlog \o/] / another novel~

[foxtamer.livejournal.com]

[Minato noted Zuko's response in a detached sort of way, strangely satisfied even as he worked through his own emotions. His words had hit home. He understood Zuko more than he thought.

Zuko wasn't the type to talk. People dealt with pain differently, and Zuko wasn't used to letting anyone see his weaknesses. But he also wasn't the type that would work through his pain alone.

So Minato would have to talk for him. It was that simple.

The kid's close to tears and jumpy as well--Minato doesn't purposefully touch him yet, as he starts to speak.]

Watching that demon wreck everything... I had felt helpless, at first. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to stop it, or to save my wife as she went into labor. The hardest part was to work through that, to force myself to be strong in the face of what was happening. Others depended on me.

[He glances at Zuko.]

I could have stayed that way forever, letting that fear consume me. But I didn't--I couldn't.

[The words "And neither can you" are left unsaid, but Minato's gaze speaks them.]

The only thing I could do was work with what I had. The others couldn't do it. Only I was young enough, and strong enough, to have a spirit that could match the demon--a necessity to make the sealing technique work at the cost of my life. But even then, there was something my shinobi could do--they fought for me, to buy me the time I needed. If I hadn't of been for them, I never would have succeeded. It was a team effort. I had to rely on others in order to save them. As powerful as I was, I couldn't do everything myself.

[The words "And neither can you" are still left unsaid, but they're louder now. Minato's gaze then softens.]

I haven't fully gotten over the pain of my death, or of the loss I felt when I came here and realized what had happened in my absence. But I'm not letting the grief, pain, or fear consume me, either. I have to move forward, bit by bit.

[This time, the words are "And so do you."]

Zuko... I already know how strong you are, and how strong you're bound to become. There's no need to hide behind a false curtain of pride. Not with me.

[commentlog \o/] / novel party ftw! \o/ (and I made an icon just for this! XD)

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[And again, Minato was reading his mind, picking apart the thoughts he couldn't voice himself and laying them flat for him to examine, talking through them in a way Zuko couldn't.

Move forward.

Of course, it was silly to be hung up on it still since he was back. Death was meaningless here.

But no, Zuko corrects himself silently. That's not what Minato is saying. The man never once insinuated Zuko was stupid to be stuck like this, never once voice even a single syllable in a critical tone. Zuko had spent his life bearing punishments and criticisms, but Minato isn't seeking to find his faults.

He wants to help. Genuinely and truly, he wants to understand, and there's no catch, no politics, no hidden consequences.

Move forward. Let it go.

It's not a criticism or an order. It's an extended hand, reaching out for him, pulling him gently to safety.

He doesn't need to put up a front, doesn't need to keep up any sort of image, doesn't have to be afraid of letting somebody down or showing weakness. Minato's voice is gentle and sincere. He's not being judged or used or threatened. Even with his uncle, Zuko felt the weight of family, politics, past failures. That wasn't to say he thought Iroh hadn't forgiven him or that his uncle held anything against him because he knew it wasn't the case. But his blemished past was there, his wrongdoings still existing somewhere in the background. It wasn't the same kind of freedom he was being offered now, through no one's fault but his own, but still the feeling remained.

Minato doesn't know what Zuko has done, doesn't know his past or his family. He takes Zuko at face value, and he's only known him a few months, but somehow, that makes it easier. Because he knows Minato isn't lying when he speaks that last sentence. And he knows Minato's right.

So, quietly, slowly, Zuko reaches back, grasping the offered hope. Dropping his head, his bangs fall over his eyes, and he lets his body lean into the offered embrace, realizing belatedly he's trembling. But it's too late to pull away or hide again, too late to be ashamed, and--as if from far away--he realizes suddenly that he isn't. Still, he can't bring himself to look up, and the tears fall, hot and wet, upon his knees, staining the fabric.

How silly. He's too old to cry. But right now, somehow, he doesn't care.

Zuko makes no sound, the sobs catching silently in his throat.]

[commentlog \o/] What sort of pinata would a novel party have? ogod Minato made Zuko cry. XD

[foxtamer.livejournal.com]

[Minato exhales softly in relief when Zuko finally stops holding himself back. Zuko needed to let the emotions out, to let them run their course, now while he was in a safe place. If he didn't do it now, they'd come back later, at the worst time, and strike him down.

When Zuko leans into his touch, Minato completes it, wrapping his arm around Zuko's shoulders and pulling the teen against his own. It's probably as much contact as Zuko's pride will tolerate at the moment, and Minato smiles sadly. Zuko at least knew now that Minato wouldn't think any less of him if he's upset. Appearances weren't important at times like this.

He doesn't say a word as Zuko cries. Words also weren't important at a time like this. The only thing that was important right now was his presence, and that he was here for Zuko.]

[commentlog \o/] A book-shaped one? ...and wasn't that kinda the point? LOL XD;

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[It takes a few minutes, but after a while, the boy's tears finally stop, his shuddering breathing slowly quieting down to normal. Face buried in Minato's shoulder, he doesn't look up for a long while, completely still and silent. He might have been mistaken for asleep if not for the way his fingers were still clenched tightly around the material of his pants, though his fists had stopped trembling in his lap.

After several more minutes, he finally shifts slightly, pulling his face away and looking down, in the opposite direction. Hastily, he brings up a hand, wiping the traces of his breakdown away on his sleeve, still silent, and continues to keep his face hidden, scrubbing at his eyes.

There's nothing to say. He's never been in this kind of situation before, and he's completely at a loss. He wants to apologize for letting anyone see him like this, but he knows Minato wouldn't accept it. He wants to say thank you, but that doesn't even begin to cover it. He's exhausted, emotionally and mentally, and words just aren't coming to him, so he sits there awkwardly cleaning his face and says nothing.

But he doesn't move away, Minato's arm still around his shoulders.]

[commentlog \o/] AND BOOK SHAPED GUMMIES FALL OUT ... XD And uh, yes. Sorta!

[foxtamer.livejournal.com]

[Minato is a bit surprised when Zuko presses his face against his shoulder, and then he smiles sadly. Zuko really was letting the emotions run their course. The former Hokage is simply glad that he can help him recover from his ordeal. Even with this, Zuko won't have dealt with it sufficiently--but he'll bring the emotions down to a level that he can handle on his own... or with friends, if he so chooses.

Eventually, the boy--no, young man--calms down and begins wiping away his tears. Minato leans back and closes his eyes, letting Zuko have a bit of privacy in that moment. But he still doesn't let go.

He does eventually open his eyes again, however, and shift his hand on Zuko's shoulder so that he can muss with Zuko's hair again. It has a double purpose--to show comfort and to allow Zuko to pull away from Minato, if he so chooses. The pride of a teenager is a very tempermental thing.]

... Before you even get to worrying about it, I won't tell a soul about this. I want you to be able to come to me if you need to.

[commentlog \o/]

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[His face sufficiently dry again, Zuko finally looks up as Minato ruffles his hair again gently. The thought came unbidden--and would probably remain unvoiced--but he suddenly realizes he's beginning to like that gesture. It's comforting, for some reason he can't explain, and he doesn't mind. Not that he's going to tell Minato or anyone else that. But the fact that he doesn't move away kind of shows it anyway.

Minato's promise had already been assumed, but his decision to voice it comforts Zuko anyway. Trust. He wants to trust Minato, keep trusting him, actually. There aren't many people he trusts unconditionally, but maybe Minato's earning his way onto that very short list.

A tiny smile forms on Zuko's lips as he gives Minato his answer. It's only a word, but his tone speaks volumes more. It's a thank you and a shy apology, a promise and a leap of faith all in one.]

Okay.

[commentlog \o/]

[foxtamer.livejournal.com]

[It's just like Naruto, really. After the first few times, he really only was annoyed for show. But Zuko is far more tolerant... for now, anyways.

Minato returns his smile, then returns his arm to the back of the couch where it had been earlier. Zuko probably had so much of a tolerance for his personal bubble being violated. Teenagers.]

... Good. [Minato grins wider.] You don't wanna argue with me. You'd lose.

[commentlog \o/] - Gah! Fail? What fail? *facepalm*

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[Zuko settles back against the couch as Minato moves, shifting several inches away, but this time not clear to the far edge like he'd been before.

He pats his hair down from Minato's messing with it, scratching the back of his neck a little sheepishly, then smiles some more, though his attempt at a teasing tone is still a bit weak.]

I don't know. I'm good at arguing too. But I'll take your word for it for now.

[commentlog \o/] ???? *Doesn't see any fail. XD*

[foxtamer.livejournal.com]

[It wasn't surprising that Zuko took a bit of space of space for himself, which is why Minato tried to make it as naturally as possible for him to do so.

When Zuko makes his comment, Minato chuckles.]

All young men your age are good at arguing. Now whether they're good at convincing arguments--that is another thing entirely.

[commentlog \o/] Yay~

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[Zuko chuckles quietly, still a little timid but slowly settling back to normal--since it was in no way "normal" for Zuko to be timid. Blinking, he rubs his eye again, realizing suddenly he's exhausted. He hadn't really slept since... waking up.

Oh, well. It's the middle of the afternoon. Stupid time to be sleepy.]


Okay, I'll agree with you there... though I happen to think I'm good at both.

[Now he's just arguing for the sake of arguing, something that seemed relatively everyday.]

Re: [commentlog \o/] Yay~

[foxtamer.livejournal.com]

[Minato grinned widely at Zuko's response.]

I'm sure I'll get to find out about that eventually. But for now, it sounds like you could use a nap. I wore you out, didn't I?

[commentlog \o/]

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[Zuko blinks at Minato for a second before registering the man's words. Oh yes, he's very tired. But he's going to deny it to the ends of the Earth---or wherever Discedo is.]

No. I'm fi--

[Aw, crap. He will not yawn. He refuses.

...okay, so he can't exactly refuse to yawn, but he can try. The yawn wins.]


...maybe.

[commentlog \o/]

[foxtamer.livejournal.com]

[Minato chuckles, but avoids outright laughing even though he wants to. Zuko's pride can only take so much.]

Sounds like it's two against one. You'd better go and get some sleep.

[commentlog \o/] OMG is this beast of a commetlog finally almost over? XD

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[Zuko scratches his neck a bit sheepishly and nods, getting up with the intent of seeing Minato out and then maybe probably collapsing on his bed for a long while.]

Hey, uh...

[He pauses, looking anywhere but at Minato and wondering why it was so awkward to say one little word. Probably because he sincerely meant it.]

...thanks.

[commentlog \o/] ... I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT. :O

[foxtamer.livejournal.com]

[Minato smiles widely at Zuko, and gives him a wink.]

It's no problem! Was the least I could do~

[commentlog \o/] XD

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[Zuko smiles back, the expression tired but genuine, and walks Minato to the door.]

Guess I'll see you around?

[commentlog \o/] HOLY CRAP ALMOST THE LAST ONE?!

[foxtamer.livejournal.com]

[Minato continues smiling, although it grows more fond. He lets Zuko walk him to the door without complaint, wanting him to get some rest.]

There's no "guess". You will see me around.

[commentlog \o/] THE LAST ONE~ *throws a party*

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[Zuko stifles another yawn but manages to smile anyway, leaning against the doorframe and waving goodbye.]

Of course. See you later.